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Observe the biblical principle of radical amputation and end the relationship. Matt 5:27-30; 2 Tim 2:22
Shepherd them through why ending the relationship is necessary.
Put the gospel in front of them. Assure them that because of the cross, God forgives sin. However, as a loving Father, God still allows us to feel the temporal consequences of our sin. Heb 12:3-11
Explain that ending the relationship is not primarily about punishing them but about protecting them from further sin and from making shipwreck of their faith. 1 Tim 1:18-19
Because marriage is a picture of the gospel, we cannot legitimize a sinful union by calling unmarried people “married.”
We also cannot confuse our children by teaching them one thing at home and another thing in extended family contexts.
To do otherwise is to miss an opportunity to share the gospel.
We must have a loving conversation with these family members, use the issue to share the gospel, then go out of our way to demonstrate genuine love to all involved.
We need to differentiate between explicit biblical callings and “inferred callings.”
We need to prioritize explicit biblical calls over inferred calls. 2 Pet 1:19
We need to understand that there is a difference between working hard and allowing ambition to drive us to be unfaithful in areas of explicit biblical responsibility.
There is nothing wrong with holding a business up to their end of the deal.
Believers are supposed to be champions of justice and truth. Isa 61:8; Mic 6:8
A few caveats:
Make sure you’ve given them every opportunity to make it right. Phil 4:5
Make sure your heart is right. Prov 4:23; Rom 12:19
Make sure you don’t have ulterior motives.
Make sure your words are godly. Eph 4:29
Accountability for sexual sin needs to be frequent and detailed.
Relapses, particularly for lust/pornography are not unusual.
The spouse of someone struggling with sin almost always has his or her own issues to work through as a result.
Taken together, these things indicate it’s not wise for the offended spouse to be the main source of accountability.
Having an upfront conversation with your husband about this doesn’t indicate a lack of submission. You’re obeying a one another command (1 Th 5:14).
It is a godly and loving thing for a wife to share with her husband what the Bible says about the necessity of Christian friendship (Heb 10:24-25).
It is a godly and loving thing for a wife to share with her husband how his lack of care for his own spiritual wellbeing is affecting her and the home.
Key biblical principles:
God is a jealous God (Exo 20:4-5)
The Bible calls us to have relationships with other brothers and sisters in the Church (Eph 4:7-16; Heb 10:24-25)
The jealous spouse should understand that while there is such a thing as godly jealousy, there is also ungodly jealousy. It is wrong to prevent your spouse from having godly relationships with other believers.
The other spouse should consider whether or not he or she is doing anything to inflame jealousy in the husband/wife.