To the objection “by using the opposite pronouns you’re endorsing their lifestyle,” we would say that’s reading too much into a simple agreement to call someone what they want to be called.
Regarding the objection, “by using the opposite pronouns you’re lying about who they are,” we would say that lying is deception. We’re not deceiving anyone. We’re calling them what they want to be called.
A personal example of how this willingness to use a person’s preferred name/pronouns has afforded opportunities to speak the truth.
We need to do what’s necessary to avoid losing an opportunity to share the gospel.
The secular narrative is “they don’t agree with us = they hate us.” By overtly loving them and pursuing relationships with them, we confound that narrative. By immediately refusing to call them what they want to be called, we confirm that narrative to them and lose the opportunity to share the gospel.
As adults, we can honor our parents by speaking to them respectfully, thanking them for all they’ve done, taking care of them physically, and inviting them into our lives.
When there appears to be a disagree about whether or not honoring equals obeying, it’s best to have an open, straightforward conversation about it.
If our parents still do not agree that we are required by Scripture to honor them while making our own decisions, we must continue to honor them, including by considering their counsel, even if unsolicited.
We need to avoid the mistake of thinking that our parents must agree with us in order to have a relationship with us.